Cassetticon Exploits
by Deepclaw
Summary: G1:Prequel/Sequel to Starscream's Rant: Various Cassetticon adventures and pranks among the Decepticon ranks. Discontinued.
1. Chapter 1

**(Disclaimer: I do not own transformers. Only my OCs...)**

_(**A/N:** This here is a kind of sequel or prequel, I suppose, to Starscream's Rant. This is going to be a multichaptered story focusing on various pranks or adventures the Cassetticons have. Since I discovered Transformers, I have always been impressed with the power and attitude in Rumble and Frenzy, who are my favorite Cassettes. Soundwave is by far my ultimate favorite Transformer but I love the cassettes- they're tough, got attitude, can stand for themselves in a fight with much larger Transformers, show connection with each other, and have awesome pile driver arms ((I like their show incarnations more than the comics and stuff)). That said I hope you enjoy. There's more chapters to come!)_

_**Summary: **Rumble and Frenzy's latest prank involves common idiomatic expressions, shocked flyers, and furious combiners._

**Idiomatic Chaos**

The ocean's surface was rough as gales of wind and debris flew through the air in a frigid storm. Below, the Nemesis shook and groaned in the churning water, but aside from this the base was silent. Nearly everyone was in a deep recharge cycle for during the storm while Reflector, Soundwave, and the three newest recruits kept watch on the monitors on the bridge. Even Megatron was recharging, so as to not waste the first peaceful night the Decepticons had had in a while, what with all the chaos cooped up warmongers cause in an underwater base.

But this peace would not last long.

Prowling the halls were Rumble and Frenzy, mischievous glows lining their optics. They wore identical smirk on their faceplates and every once in a while they'd snigger in anticipation. They stopped at the end of the Main wing, the portside hallway on the Nemesis where the Seekers, the Coneheads, the Constructicons, Blitzwing, and Astrotrain's personal quarters were located. Starscream and Soundwave's quarters were behind the cassettes, and Megatron's room was further up the hall, closer to his office and the bridge. With the exception of those keeping watch everyone was recharging.

The twins hacked into the surveillance system, via electrical port, so they wouldn't be caught and then proceeded to pull out their newest weapons- two giant megaphones. Frenzy quickly adjusted the modifications he'd made on the devices earlier so the volume would be three times louder than the megaphones' loudest setting while keeping the sound crystal clear. With such settings, anything whispered into them would make anyone within 100 yards hear the words as if the person was standing right next to them. Now, if one were to _scream_…

Looking up and down the hallway, the two troublemakers snickered once more.

"Ok. Ya ready, Frenzy?" Rumble grinned.

"Good to go, bro," Frenzy whispered back, giving him a thumb's up.

They counted back from three and charged.

Starscream was in the middle of a restful "sleep." He was dreaming of the glory days. The days of the old War Academy and all his trophies. He was the best, the brightest flyer, and he and his wing mates Skywarp and Thundercracker had air maneuvers and routines that even gave other flyers a hard time trying to watch them. His intakes chuffed a contented sigh and a small smile graced his otherwise guarded faceplate.

"**BLOODY MURDER!! BLOODY MURDER!!"**

"**AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS!! AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUUUUUUUUNNGSSSS!!"**

Starscream was wrenched from his dreams and he shot out of bed and slid into the hallway where he was met with a scene that seemed to last a few minutes, but actually took place in about two seconds.

See, one should never startle awake a lone Decepticon, much less 19 tough, trained, battle ready warriors who had been locked in an underwater base together for a month.- _especially _if "one" is actually "two" and only, at most, one third the height of any given Transformer in the hallway. That being said, it is understandable that Starscream got up so fast- and, yes, he has Seeker reflexes after all. It is also perfectly excusable for a witness to find the rest of the hallway in an equal state of alarm. Thundercracker and Skywarp had run out of their room almost as fast as Starscream while Blitzwing and Astrotrain followed shortly after at the other end of the corridor. The Coneheads hurried out in great confusion, guns at the ready. Then came the Combiners. The combiner teams in the army always protected each other first then fought. If they didn't they might be down a member, and then they wouldn't be able to merge. Bonecrusher ripped down the door to the Constructicons' quarters but Motormaster threw away any shred of formality as he rolled off his recharge berth and bust right through the wall. The two short-tempered 'Cons glared at each other, and then turned their focus downward to the Cassette twins at their feet.

With a loud cry the two rudely awakened Combiner soldiers threw themselves atop the small bots while the rest of their teams piled on top, dragging the flyers with them. Rumble and Frenzy transformed their arms into their patented pile drivers and swung away, occasionally screaming bloody murder at the top of their vocalizers' abilities.

The next day, all members of "Last Night's Brawl" were holed up in Repair Bay being patched up by Soundwave, a salvaged Hook, and Tarnish, a new recruit with medical training. While the cassettes were beat pretty badly, they couldn't help but grin at the deep dents they put into all the bigger Cons. Soundwave couldn't help but be surprised the below decks didn't collapse, even partially. And it surprised Starscream to no end at how Megatron had no idea what happened. Usually Soundwave or Starscream told him about the army's latest self-destructive event and if not them, a poor rookie.

The silver mech had come in earlier, amazed at the devastated hallway and the menaced survivors of the fight. He even asked Soundwave if it was a sign of insanity to have a dream where a school professor screamed out his lesson about human anatomy while beating the walls. Soundwave's visor glowed brightly at that which could mean anything, but judging from how Megatron's expression went from "honestly confused" to "resentful embarrassment" Starscream strongly suspected that the tape deck thought the question was hilarious. That and he must be feeling tremendously pleased to see that the tiny machines could hold their own remarkably well in a fight with some of the most powerful soldiers among the Decepticons. Oh, Starscream would tell Megatron exactly what happened- those little scrap heaps were so in trouble- whether Soundwave reported the events or not. Oh, he'd be sure to tell him how soundly the leader slept that night. How vulnerable he'd be if the Autobots, or anyone else for that matter, decided to invade his room and end Megatron's reign as High Commander of the Decepticon Army, Starsream smirked to himself.

He started a slow chuckle which soon became an all out cackle, while everyone else stared.

"**SHAD**_**DUP**_**, YA LOONEY**!!" Motormaster rumbled, and threw a welding torch at the hysterical jet's head, launching the cassettes into howling laughter and a shocked Second in Command into the month's first Rant.

Soundwave struggled to get his youngest cassettes to sit up straight, but as Starscream's shrill lecture filled the air and Motormaster glared from his berth, all he could really do was shake his head.

_A/N: (So what didja think? If you read Starscream's Rant this is the event Starscream was referring to when he said that the cassettes were "screaming 'bloody murder'- whatever that means." Obviously R + F understand the real usage of the term - and "screaming at the top of one's lungs- but decide to use them literally in order to cause some chaos. lol)_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The Caramel Dance

* * *

Starscream was officially ticked.

Starscream had walked through the halls of the Nemesis on edge. He had been in his room doing desk work, but strange sounds coming from the Bridge were too strange to go uninvestigated. He heard pounding in the walls- constant pounding that hadn't ended for the last 3 cycles. Just as he reached the door, the pounding stopped and he could hear clangs and bangs as the room's guests guffawed, falling over each other and carrying on. What was so funny?

Well, he found out. And he didn't like it at all.

When he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of about 20 Decepticons in the bright orange room rolling around on the floor laughing. In the middle of the room, on the map table stood two giant teddy bears. They both looked at him before music started up, possibly the Macarena, and both figures started dancing. Embarrassingly.

The Decepticons burst into new fits and Motormaster passed out. He was painted a bright pink, and the Contructicons paintjobs couldn't decide whether green or purple was the dominant color.

Starscream developed a severe twitch in his left wing.

"What is going ON!?"

Suddenly, he was up on the table and dancing. He was only about 7 ft tall and all the Decepticons in the room were laughing at him_. Why was he dancing?_ And why were the walls bright_ orange_!? The Nemesis was purple and blue!! And Motormaster was definitely NOT pink!!

Starscream woke with a violent jolt. He stared at the ceiling for a cycle before sitting up and shaking his head. What in the Pit was that? Recharge visions? He was the Air Commander of the Decepticons. He shouldn't be having strange and embarrassing dreams, as humans called them. He swung his legs over his recharge berth and was about to stand up when he heard the walls thumping. He heard laughing outside.

He stared in abject horror as the doors to his quarters opened.

In danced two 7 foot tall teddy bears, one blue, one red. They each had a speaker strapped to their backs blaring:

'OH I'M A GUMMYBEAR! YES I'M A GUMMY BEAR! OH I'M A YUMMY, CHUMMY, FUNNY, LUCKY GUMMY BEAR!!'

Starscream blanched and his jaw fell open. The two bears climbed up onto his desk and started doing a strange dance. Deep in the Seeker's mind a part of him recognized it as "caramelldansen" before the rest of his mind rebuked him for knowing what it was called.

Now he knew why he had that weird dream. And now he remembered that these bears had done the same thing three times in the last 2 weeks! Done gaping, the Air Commander's systems went into overdrive as his oil pressure spiked.

"RUMBLE! FRENZY! GET THOSE RIDICULOUS COSTUMES OFF AND **GET OUT OF MY QUARTERS!!"**

The bears 'eeped!' and scrambled out of there, Starscream behind them shouting, null rays ablaze.

* * *

Megatron strode into the hangar. Before him lay piles of energon, steadily growing as Skywarp and Reflector filled the energy converter with fuel they recently acquired. That operation had run smoothly. Megatron smirked in satisfaction.

Soundwave appeared off to his left and walked over. Something in his posture made him seem both confident and hesitant at once. Megatron gave him a quizzical look.

"Cassettes: Prank."

"Ah," Megatron said, at once amused and annoyed. "What are they doing this week?"

"Activity: Unknown. Starscream: In pursuit."

Megatron nearly slapped his hand to his faceplate in a very human gesture. Instead, he kinda blinked. A rampant Starscream was a very troublesome and annoying Starscream.

"Cassettes en route, Megatron."

Megatron was pulled out of his musings as the far entrance to the hangar blasted open. In ran two large teddy bears with speakers dragging behind them on strings, screaming. Behind them was the Air Commander yelling about rodents and candy, firing his infamous guns at the duo. A straight, almost bored look on his face, Megatron watched as the trio leaped over a pile of energon, crawled under a large workbench, came out, pounced onto the conveyor belt, tripped over a couple energon cubes causing them to explode in Reflector's face, ran in circles around Skywarp before stray Null Ray lasers hit the purple Seeker and a random drone causing them to collapse, played a brief game of cat and mouse among the huge pile of metal crates in the corner, and then dove into an ai rduct. Halfway through, Starscream got stuck and kicked violently trying to free himself while shredding the hangar's ventilation system. The two bears crawled out of another shaft, ran over, and started a tribal looking victory dance while the downed Seeker shouted obscenities. It was quite a sight.

Megatron looked over at Soundwave, who looked back at him.

"Reflector! When Skywarp come back online, tell him to get Thundercracker and have them get Starscream out of the shaft. Starscream will tell the Constructicons what happened to their vent system personally."

"Yes, sir."

"Soundwave, handle the cassettes. Immediately. I'm going to my quarters."

"As you command, Megatron."

Across the room, two bears were caramelldansen-ing, holding their destroyed speakers to their heads.

* * *

I had a lot of ideas for this one, but it came out pretty simple. Heeheehee. Next I think they'll target either the Constructicons or the Stunticons.


End file.
